We are told that sex and love are part of the same instinct; I disagree. Love is a pleasant sensation of comfort we feel when we’re close to a special person. LIVRO EM DESTAQUE. DR. FLÁVIO NO YOUTUBE. Assine o FEED do canal do Dr. Flávio no Youtube e mantenha-se atualizado conforme novos vídeos são. As for his theoretic work, in he presented studies about sex therapy; his first and critically acclaimed book, published in , was about sex, love, and.

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These are beliefs, inherited points of view. Due to his immense success as a psychotherapist, he preferred his practical experience with patients over theoretic studies although theory has always played an important part in his learning process, and has influenced him throughout the years.

fear | Dr. Flávio Gikovate

Children experience a major developmental leap in their second year: But exactly because some couples do live happily together, we should do our best to be a part of this exclusive club. As adults, our experiences reproduce what we felt in the earliest stages of our lives with our mothers: Partnership is the keyword these days.

Gikovate has seen, in his private practice, about patients. For this reason, he refuses to make bibliographical quotes, as he believes he owes his theories and knowledge to his patients, and not to the influence of other authors. Instead of focusing so much on overweight people and their habits, we should pay attention to the way thinner people live.

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At the same time, he shows that desire and arousal are very different phenomena: In this time of the year, this darkness is the most common. Human beings are mammals, with multiple desires. Up to that point, they had been happiest being held by their mothers, in a peace and comfort such as they lost at birth, feeling for their mothers what we call love. He believes that adults today have two options: Everyone should be alone every once in a while to establish their internal dialogue and discover their personal strength.

However, a few observations might help us make fewer mistakes. The first sign of strength in a human being is resignation in the face of our lack of control over some crucial matters in life. Once they learn this, they become less judgmental, more respectful and understanding. Nobody likes to admit they feel envy, much less of someone who is close to them.


His book about freedom hit 40, copies. Learning to live with happiness and not run away from situations in flavo it appears is a suitable act of bravery.

In this work, Gikovate explains how to take the second path — definitely more difficult, but far more rewarding. We are told that sex and love are part of the same instinct; I disagree.

His writings are dense in content, yet always through an approachable, readable text. I am always surprised when I hear people repeat, with utter conviction, well-known sentences that are regarded as truth, even though not much thought is given to them.

What I propose is radically inverting the way we think about it. His work, devoid of quotes and bibliographical quotes, has a clear, straightforward writing style, while it dwells on the most complex issues of human behavior— not dissimilar to renowned Erich Fromm, for instance. When two people understand they are a whole person, their love is much livrox.

Psychical processes follow a very peculiar logic, which must be discovered in their own specific way. He has also written three books directed to a younger audience, with a didactic slant; these books sold aboutcopies. People are libros to understand that they even if they feel like a fraction of a person, they are whole — just like their partner, who is not a knight in shining armor or a savior, but a travel companion.

In the passing years, he published many studies about sex, love and married life; this would be the main theme of his life work.

Fear of Happiness

Friendship is a strong emotional bond between two people, which happens for reasons that are not always present in romantic attachments. Freud proposed a theory to explain these aggressive, self-destructive tendencies: These days, with all the technology that allows people to be completely self-sufficient, they are losing their fear of being alone and learning to live better with themselves.

We need to take a look at how vanity interferes with the way we evaluate people and their importance. For instance, he never shied away from using pharmacology when necessary, and benefited from experiences with psychoanalytic treatment, which he attended for five years, and behaviorist therapy he learned in the University of London in Sex is one of the topics most spoken and written about.

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A clear separation between love and sex; 2.

Fear of Happiness | Dr. Flávio Gikovate

While some people feel particularly happy this time of the year, an even larger group of people feels sad; some even get deeply depressed. But that makes them noisy, not strong — these two words are not synonyms! Nobody can be sure that their efforts, whether in the emotional, professional or social arena, will be successful.

I suddenly realized that when people fall in love they start living in a constant state of alert—of panic, even—as if they expected a tragedy to befall them at gukovate moment. It would probably be great to be able to control the outcome of important events. From on, he deepened his studies on the nature of love, treating love separately from sexual issues, his first original and non-conventional position. I have been writing about the fear of happiness since the late s, when an odd, unexpected idea came to my mind: In our current cultural environment, people who stand out are considered important.

Many of us fear being alone, for reasons that can be somewhat inconsistent. It was a great box office hit in several countries, including Brazil. Strong are the ones who seem weak: Thus the first sensation the human brain experiences is harmony, followed by the pain of separation and a feeling of vulnerability that will, one way or another, follow them throughout life.

I have been describing love as the feeling we have for a special person next to whom we feel peace, harmony and comfort. However, this pursuit of clarity has caused his ilvros, on occasion, to be dismissed as simplistic. This could bring about couples formed by fair people, more mature to experience love.

This assumption is also at the root of the theory that opposites attract, in which a partner should be what the other, supposedly incomplete person, is not; if one is quiet, the other should be combative, for instance.